Am I a “running” type?

Walking in nature

“I can’t run!!! I just can not do it. No matter how hard I try and how long I am trying to get my body used to running, I just CAN’T!!!”

This thought pops into my head waaaaay too often. Any time I start running really.

I admire people who are able to just hop off the couch and go for a run, and then run for about an hour barely breaking a sweat. If I ever had a chance to ask “genie from the bottle” to fulfill my one dream, that would be it. I want to be one of THEM people.

Yes, yes, I do understand that they must have worked for it for a very long time, training day in, day out. But I see them now. And I talk to them now. And I hear now how they are enjoying it so much that it’s almost the form of meditation. I don’t meditate, when I run!!! I suffer! A lot. Pushing myself every 30 seconds to just do another 30 seconds. And then another 30 seconds, and then another 30 seconds, before I nearly pass out after the total of 4 minutes of running. And it is a HUGE success to me to be able to push myself that far. And I am not trying to be sarcastic.

I was never into running. I was never able to run more than just a few minutes straight. I have tried to start and train myself a few times but like with anything else in my life I wasn’t persistent enough. I have downloaded “Coach to 5K”. I gave it a few shots. After I started My Fitness Journey and became a little more serious and responsible about my workouts I managed to get as far as running for 30 minutes doing interval running. That’s say 3,5 minutes of slow jogging and 0,5 minute of walking, and so on. That seemed to work. I managed to build it up to that in about 3 months and still trying to build it up even more. I do want to reach the point when I would be able to run 5K and not have to stop in the middle of it. I can see how far ahead of previous me I am now. I used to be catching my breath and coughing even after a minute, and look at me now, I am doing 30 minutes. Yes, I am walking in between, but I am still running for the most of the workout. In my world it is HUGE!!!

But, I can’t say that I enjoy it. Nope, I don’t. I have downloaded my favorite upbeat, “you can do it” type of songs to my playlist on Spotify. I have bought myself nice leggins and shoes. I have thought happy thoughts, trying to find peace while on the trail. I have read a lot of “helpful tips” on how to start enjoying your run. And nothing changed. I don’t seem to be able to reach that mindset. Now… Maybe I need to train harder, more often and be more consistent to get my body trained first. Maybe, I am just not at that physical level just yet.

When I talk to people who run they all say it took them a long time to get where they are now. My hairdresser, for example, told me that it took her about two years to be able to run for an hour and really, truly enjoy that hour. TWO YEARS!!! That is a lot of patience if you ask me.

What if I am just not a running type? What if I am more of a walking/dancing/do anything else but run kinda type? Is there even such a thing? I don’t know. But I am going to find out. I am not going to put any pressure on myself and say that by the end of this year I am going to run that 5K. No. I am just going to keep doing what I am doing and see where it brings me.

Most of beautiful things are happening when you least expect it, when process is unnoticed. Always been the case in my life at least. When you don’t think too much about how you are doing it and if you are doing enough, you just do it without paying too much attention. And the process just takes it’s own course. So this is the approach I am going to take in my “running  challenge”. And just see what happens….

And for people, who keep telling me: “Well, if you don’t like running, why don’t you just walk instead?”. That is not the point. Walking is never that satisfactory. Even after almost dying, I still have that satisfactory feeling after a run. It’s like, look at me, I pushed myself to do it and I did it. Now, I just need to find the satisfaction in the actual run. So no, I don’t want to just walk instead.

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